i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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