She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
do herpes really smell.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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