Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
