Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
