I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
