About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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