on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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