Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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