I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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