My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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