he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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