why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
