We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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