I bet he comes in French.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize