Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
