he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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