sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I wannas sexs uuuuu
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
