Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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