Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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