You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
