btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
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it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
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Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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