After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
