So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
