My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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