if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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