wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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