i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
