If that was your dad, he is hot
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think your dad took our porno
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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