note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
