Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
