Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
They took my balls.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
