so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My pussy is not your playground.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
