I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
