you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
