She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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