Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
