Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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