Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
