i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
