I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
