sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize