Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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