I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My vagina just clenched in fear
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
