he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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