I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
