The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
