1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
