i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
