At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
