Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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