Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
