I wish I only lived at night.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just pee around me
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
