my mouth tastes like poor choices
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
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His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
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Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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