just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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