This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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