Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
